By Michael Holland  

It’s the little things that help a marriage keep it’s momentum.  Each morning, I walk my wife to her car as she leaves for work.  It’s a rather small ritual and could be seen as insignificant in the hectic world in which we all choose to live.  At times I feel a bit high schoolish like I’m walking my girlfriend  from her locker to her class.

As we walk we have a bit of small talk about the day ahead, we negotiate what we may do about dinner that evening, we might mention something we heard about somebody in our lives and at times we just walk together.  Many mornings I’m carrying her tea for her.  There’s always a hug and a kiss and a “have a great day” comment.

I think many couples learn well how to juggle their lives and the lives of their kids while simply living together in the same space.  Sure they love each – they’re married, right – but they forget that to stay “in love” over years and years you have to put effort into the relationship and create habits which enable the relationship to stay alive.  Habits that help build and sustain the bonds between both of you.  Habits that reveal and stoke the love that exists between you. Habits that enable you to be more selfless than selfish.

Men, the habit itself is not so important.  It’s not like walking my wife to her car will make for an excellent marriage.  It’s more that I’m “thinking about” her, looking for ways to create moments of opportunity to connect in the smallest of ways to show respect, love, admiration and caring.  I’m in the game putting in the effort to make it work.

You can allow yourselves to just live together or you can choose to be in life together.